J54 ME! Look at Me! Envy Me!

Matthew 20: 21 "Command that these two sons of mine may sit, one at your right hand, and one at your left, in your kingdom."

Chrysostom: "So you need not be too picky if you suffer the loss of your honor. No matter how much it is lowered, you will not be descending as far as your Lord descended." (1)

Reflection:

Who among us is so humble, never to have fantacized about fame, the acclaim of the crowd? Not me, for sure. I grew up desperate for the approval of others. This need , so strong that it shaped my behaviour for years, and still tugs at me. (And I'm way old enough to know better).

How destructive an impulse, and how unchristian. Yet pervasive. Status drives our choices of clothes, car, home. Technology facilitates. Famous for being famous -- what? I've read that Facebook destroys the self image of many. Compare. Judge. Esteem. Envy. Despair...

Some years ago, my wife and I were drawn to help start a church in an urban area. We were excited about the possibilities -- between us we had deep experience in church leadership. But my jobs? I drove the rental truck, set up platforms, tore up carpet, hung dry wall. I was the grounds keeper. Teaching? Not so much. Recognition? Only from the other 'behind the scenes' worker bees.

[I am so proud to be so humble! Wait...what? Not again...]

"Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ." (2)

My prayer today: "Precious saviour, help me overcome my wrong desires, to be admired and envied, acclaimed by men! Let me be satisfied to labor in the vineyard, doing whatever Your Spirit suggests. Let me be satisfied in modesty. Help me obey. Give me the lowest of jobs, if it brings your approval. How I long to hear from your lips, "Well done, good and faithful slave." (3)

(1) Chrysostom (d. 407), "The Gospel of Matthew, Homily 65.4." In ACCoS , NT Vol 1b.

(2) Galatians 1:10, (CEV)

(3) Matthew 25:21 (NASB)

5/1/2020