J51 I'm not taking any of that anymore!

Matthew 18:21-35 [Peter asks] "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" [Jesus says]. "seventy times seven."

Hilary: "... be like Him in humility and goodness. In weakening and breaking the impulses of our rampant passions ..." (1)

OK. I confess. The biggest obstacle in my 47 year path of sanctification, is me. And the watching world cheers me on in countless ways, as I show a little backbone and refuse to be insulted, taken advantage of, or abused. I will assert myself. Especially in public.

Passion is encouraged these days. Maybe it always has been. What a tragedy! How damaging to my walk! Righteous anger? Not likely in me.

Passion is a state of unconstrained emotional power. It gathers strength until it overwhelms my intellect, my judgement, my intentions. Why does it grow? 'Cause it feels so good to unleash it.

Until later, when the remorse overtakes me and I cry in shame at the display...even as the Saviour may weep at the damage done to His kingdom by the failure of one who claims His name.

How powerful it would be, for others to witness me "taking it" in serene sorrow at the sins of a brother.

I recall many moments of shameful anger. Some are decades in the past. As I write these words, I am mindful of an incident from 29 years ago. I was in a position of authority. Worse still, my outburst was seen and heard by a dozen subordinates ... I still cringe in remorse. It was a small military community, overseas. I made no show of my faith, but it was well known that I taught Sunday School and had even preached in the chapel.

Wow! did you see that? He's no different than anyone! (2)

Father God! How boundless is your well of forgiveness! You assure me that my sin is buried deep in the sea. But Lord, my sin is ever before me. I wish I could forget it. But if that remorseful memory helps me rein in destructive passion, then leave it engraved on my conscience. But let the one I injured have no memory of the wound! (3)

04/19/2020

(1) Hilary of Poitiers (d. 367), "On Matthew 18.10," in NT Vol 1b of ACCS.

(2) James 1:26 "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless."

(3) Micah 7:19 "You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea."

Psalm 51: "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me."